I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
