What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
