i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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