i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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