so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
