nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
