I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
