i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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