im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
