She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
