just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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