There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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