So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i've created a new STD.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
