My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Randomize
