Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
