I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
