Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
