Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
