Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
