Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
