I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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