My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
