I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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