She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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