My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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