I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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