S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
