The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Houston, we have a squirter
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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