i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
