and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize