Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
