I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
