I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize