At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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