we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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