Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
