Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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