you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
