According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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