Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Couch. On fire.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
