We got so high we made milksteak
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
