I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
