Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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