sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize