barbara walters just said penis...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
