Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
