What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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