What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
