I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
