I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
