Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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