its not stalking. its research.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
