I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize