so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
