i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
