do herpes really smell.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
