I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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