Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
