Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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