its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
