That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
