i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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