he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
