I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
